We have tools.

They are being built. They are being tested. One of them works. One of them sort of works. One of them actively threatens the structural integrity of the internet every time we run it.

But we cannot name them.
Because naming things is hard.
And naming things in a way that sounds cool, useful, and mildly unhinged is even harder.

So here is the official Tool Naming Status, as of today:

Tool #1: The Trip Planner

What it does:
You put in trip info. It gives you a gear list, meal plan, and itinerary. You feel powerful.

Name Options (still fighting it out):

• Trip Not Found — Nerdy, slightly ominous

• Possibly Prepared — Accurate, legally

• What Trail Is This? — Our current emotional state

• Route? I Barely Know Her — Please don’t make us explain this one

• Vibe Itinerary Generator — No real structure, just trailhead energy

Current Status:
Being called “The Thing” in our internal notes. May remain that way forever.

Tool #2: The Meal Planner

What it does:
Creates a daily food plan that includes snacks, hot meals, and a reminder not to eat all your trail mix on day one.

Name Options:

• Oatmeal Again?! — This one speaks for itself

• Couscous Crimes — No actual crimes have occurred… yet

• Snack Operas — Drama. Salt. Repetition.

• Just Add Water (and Regret) — May require an emotional stove

• Dehydrate This! — We’re sorry and you’re welcome

Current Status:
Technically edible.

Tool #3: The Gear Planner

What it does:
Generates a gear list based on your route, length, style, and tolerance for damp socks.

Name Options:

• Too Many Socks — The truth hurts

• Weight Regret Calculator — It knows what you’ll hate carrying

• Bag of Choices — A pile of decisions with straps

• This Feels Important — But what if it isn’t?!

• Pack It Up — Slightly threatening

Current Status:
Heavy. Emotionally.